Archive for June, 2009

Another Day

Posted in Erubadhron's Journal on June 21, 2009 by necrolepsy

It has taken more money and time than I would have thought, learning to spread myself between two disciplines. They are so independant of each other that I have not yet attained the power to use both at once, though mastering two of the Warlock disciplines is far more than I could ever have imagined being possible. It has allowed me to see the strengths and weaknesses of the two in ways I never thought possible. To be a Demonologist did not afford me the kind of power I needed to lay waste and devastation on the scale I now do, yet on the other hand I had forgotten the sheer durability being a Demonologist afforded me when I dipped into the powers given by Destruction. Surely the power to interweave the disciplines is not far off, but for the time being I’m content to become comfortable switching between them, learning how to do so faster and more efficiently.

However, I have begun penning thesis papers on the comparative benefits and pitfalls encountered while using either from a fresh perspective, having both at my disposal now. With my fingertips able to conjure furious green flame that can eat through metal and magical resistance one minute, to witnessing their transformation into the wicked claws of my Metamorphosis into a demon, I can say comfortably say that it is possible I could master every subject had I the time and the money to pursue the studies. However, new developments in my life demand attention. My world is shifting in ways I had never dreamed imaginable, and part of that is learning that my studies are coming up second to someone new in my life.  I doubt I will ever truly let go, but I have found the room in my heart for another to join me at my side.

And she will be my pillar. My strength when my body gives out. If there was any doubt in my mind before about choosing a new companion, it left when I had decided who it shall be. I recieved sage advice on that front. Perhaps I did know all along? I cannot be completely certain. I only know that I will have to show her the dedication, judgment, and kindness she has shown me in my times of trouble.

It was only a half-year ago that I had no room in my breast for any of my kind or the other races of Azeroth. I had only my conviction. My sense of duty. My desire to achieve and overcome that weakness which was made so apparent to me during the Great War of Silvermoon those few years ago. Though I have done that and expanded my power threefold and further, I find myself weakened without the presence of those whom I have let into my heart. Only a half-year ago I had no room in my heart. Each addition leaves me feeling fit to burst, as though I cannot handle another… and yet I still make a new addition. I make friends and loved ones.

There is still much work to be done about the letters I’ve written, and the new friends I’ve made. I’ll need to speak with them again soon. Very soon.

Erubadhron Valorbane

Misery

Posted in Erubadhron's Journal on June 9, 2009 by necrolepsy

((The penmanship of the writing is long and loopy, a slow hand having composed it.))

Two days ago I recieved news that my study on the powers of Destruction and the applications of focusing solely on fire had been met with approval. My published paper was being handed from Warlock to Warlock with a contagious speed. And yet my intellectual triumph is hollow. Even as I have finally made my mark among my brethren, I have left another mark indelible and dark. It is one mark upon two hearts, and with a masteruful stroke I found myself worse off than I had been before. It is no lie to say I loved and love them both, but I could not bring myself to choose between them. Forced to, I did what I felt was best for all… I lied and told them I was better off alone.

Such unforgiving eyes I have only seen when I blow the light out of the delicate candle of light from the eyes of my enemies, either on the battlefield or off. Never had I imagined such a reaction to my simple statement. It is true in a way… in my younger days I would have thought nothing of saying what I had, for it would have allowed me more time to pursue my studies. Age has changed me, and I cannot say it is for better or worse as I sit here, neglecting both my duties and myself. For hours I sit and reconsider what I should have said. Should I have been more passionate in my entreaty? Should I have chosen between them as they had asked me to? Again and again my logical mind concludes that what I did spared them both the most heartache, and yet I cannot deny that I miss them already.

Other duties draw my attention away, a new letter intended for someone else giving rise to a thought in the back of my head. A chance at work. Hard work. The work I can bury myself in and hide so deep that this pain will never be able to dig through. Yes, perhaps it is for the best that I take to this new task with a clear mind, focused and alert. Someone once told me to move on… and if I cannot convince them otherwise, then I am left but with that fragment of advice to act on and so I shall. My time is short now. I have letters to pen and meetings to organize.

Erubadhron Valorbane

((The signature and second half of the last paragraph are hastily written.))