Archive for September, 2009

Insomnia

Posted in Erubadhron's Journal on September 18, 2009 by necrolepsy

I’ve been so busy that my writings have fallen behind. Something has posessed me, and though I have written without pause I have left my mind to become some disorganized clutter of which little seems to make sense anymore. The barricades I have hidden myself behind leave me interacting little with those I know, and not at all with those I don’t. It seems as though something bothers me. The light hurts my eyes now, and yet the darkness provides no respite, for I lay awake with my thoughts rushing in a torrent that leaves me dazed and confused, as though my own brain can’t keep up with itself. I have never worked so hard before on a single spell, and yet I have writings, drawings, etchings… tossed all over my room. Pinned to the walls by magic. Suspended from the metal they’ve been impaled on, on my hanging candelabras. Only having completed the spell do I feel myself at rest anymore, and I feel I must write before I lose the mania that has driven me. That I pour the madness into the pages before I allow it to leave me, for I will know it no longer if I rest and rise.

But at the same time I feel there’s no release, no peace. I’ve tossed and turned without cease. It’s a curse. I open my eyes and rise from the sheets. It’s been a couple of weeks since I last slept. A week ago I could have sworn I had it beat, but I found myself sinking deeper still. In the night I wrote by candlelight, for I found insight, an inspirational light. If it comes back this insomniac will see the black and keep the beast in my nature under ceaseless attack. I’ll get no sleep.

I feel my hair greasy to the touch, circles under my eyes making me look like I’ve had a brush with death, time and again feeling on my neck its necrotic breath. Ruined quills scattered across tables, my money running low… what did I do? I hesitate to turn and look around, because that’s where it is. All the pages, the final result of my utter chaos. I can’t get to sleep, but the quill feels so heavy now.

~Erub- (The signature trails off the page.)

Advertisements